Aather · Memories 016 - 030

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⎨ REGISTRY : MEMORIES 001 - 015 : MEMORIES 016 - 030 ⎬

016 "I'll save everyone!"

Journey into Mystery no. 634 pages 12 - 24
Form of two paper dolls attached together at the arm.
Shared with Ahad

Crap. A ghoulish nightmare that's mixed with faint awareness. Despite the obviousness that it's a dream, Loki can't really seem to break from it. This is the consequence of Loki's actions upon others—no matter how good his intentions were. There's Thor, dead, surrounded in funeral pyres. There's the Hel-Wolf, ridiculing him, mocking him and reminding him that they're the same.

"Good boy? Have you been drinking? I was never a good boy, Loki. I was a brutal thug. Just a brutal thug with a lot of charm. Sound like anyone you know?"

Then there's the Dísir, waiting for him at the pit of Surtur's stomach. So while he doesn't know how he hurt so many people (despite it being a nightmare, which obviously plagues him), he knows that the consequence were all these people being hurt—and somehow he's justified all of his backhanded actions because it saved people. A lot of the guilt in the dream is Loki's, but a lot of the raw fear comes from the residual energy left in his mind from the Serpent's demise. There's an awareness there of that, too (even as he breaks the fourth wall in his own dream). Finally Leah breaks through to save him from the damnation he thinks he deserves, and they head into his subconscious.

• So the really shitty things that he was afraid that he did (aside from completely killing Thor) are true! This is the consequence before the action. He knows his actions hurt people, and this is the consequence of it.
• There's a lot of guilt here. That's very real. Guilt sucks. He feels very guilty about the only way he knows how to do things.
• "I didn't trust you, I just loved you!" are Thor's words that really hit home. He knows that Thor brings him back for something, and loves him enough to bring him back, but whatever he did still doesn't evoke a lot of trust, as much as he struggles to gain it.
• That's definitely the Dísir pulling him down into the damnation he thinks he deserves.
• "I'll save everyone," is something that he means, despite the desperation.
• Surprise! Leah! So there's definitely something going on with his head, and it's definitely fucking with him. They're off to find the source! Even if it's hard to shake! "You and I have a stronger bond" is also surprising. Interesting where that bond might come from.
• Hellstrom is a name of some dude that's helping them.
• This is going to shake him up pretty bad, especially with all the consequences aligned without the actions. But it'll allow him to look at what he did before the consequence happens when the memories are regained.
• + 100000000 guilt points for being himself.

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017 Thor punches fire.

The Mighty Thor no. 18 pages 16 - 17
Memory form is a card. Trade with someone else to view their memory—then trade back to view yours. Single exchange use only.
Shared with Scott.
Shared with Nahadoth. (Don't judge me.)

Bros being bros, yes that. I really wish I had something to say here other than "damnit Thor." With foreboding kind of lingering in the background, especially after Loki's talk with the All-Mother, Loki tends to Thor after Thor literally punches fire. Everything is burning with a fire that scorches gods, and there's no good reason for it. Yet, anyway. They speak briefly of Odin and the cause.

• This memory is smack dab between Loki's talk with Freyja and desperately begging Hela for help. Out of place it might bring a little more comfort, but because of the placement it just brings anxiety.
• Loki knows he's associated with the problem here, he just can't fit it in right. There are gaps surrounding this memory.
• Thor brings enough comfort not to make it that terrible. Thanks, Thor.
• While Loki is willing to use Odin for help, Thor seems to dislike him and the idea completely. He'd rather be independent of Odin, and Loki immediately backs down. When Thor mentions him he immediately falls into agreeing with him—partially because Thor and partially out of comfort.
• Look, bros bickering.

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018 Leah.

Journey into Mystery no. 643 pages 9 - 16
Memories are in the form of a leather tankard full of wine. Once the wine runs out, the memory is no longer there. Enough for three 8 oz glasses of wine (or sips, as sips are enough for the memory).
Shared with Nahadoth.



Another loaded memory. Finding a back-way into Hel, Loki comes across a surprise Leah!! (After she thunks Thori against a stone wall.) LOKI IS BOTH SURPRISED AND CONFUSED, Leah tells him that she's the one that he had written in the Serpents tale with Surtur's blade (whoop, big gap there. THE AFTERMATH OF FEAR ITSELF IS THERE, JUST NOT FEAR ITSELF. No holes to fill yet, how frustrating!!) Oh man does she hate him. She tells him of the plan she's forged against him with Surtur's help.

"You wrote me a small part. You left me no capacity to grow. Writers lie. You made a lie just good enough to do the job, and no more. You're a terrible writer, Loki. I am the lie made flesh. I am the lie that's finally caught up with you."

The initial shock drains through him, and a plan arises! He tells Leah to look at his actions rather then his reasoning for the actions themselves. He killed Thor, he freed Surtur, he aided Mephisto, Hela and the Disir, he brought down the Otherworld, and to top it off he left a powerful hat for a rainy day. (Yeah what.) These are all things that he's twisting just enough to convince her that what he did he did for himself, and now, also for her. Even Ikol is surprised, and asks why Loki didn't tell him. ("Because I'm Evil-Loki?" "No, because you're Loki." Reasons not to trust the person you were.)

"They hated me and still expected me to grow up right? Why would I want people like that to accept me? Damn them. Let them burn. Let everyone burn."

He convinces her enough to get an audience with Surtur, and try to right whatever he caused wrong.
• Shit can Leah hold a grudge.
• SHE WAS LITERALLY HIS ONLY FRIEND AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO PALLED AROUND WITH HIM.
• Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt. Huzzah for fucking up!
• Leah says she hears his personal conversations?? Interesting. "Your familiar is familiar to me." (He'll realize later that when she said that she meant conversations between Loki & Ikol, which are technically conversations between him that no one else can see but him.)
• Despite all of his scheming with Leah, a lot of the things he says are things that he's been thinking for a while. It's kind of cathartic to say them. It sort of scares him that those bitter feelings are there.
• Loki's interaction with Ikol is beginning to become more prevalent. He knows there's another "him" around, but he's not sure of the connection between them.


• It's another memory of consequence before he gets the actual action. His memory of Thor's death are cut, and he knows what he did, just not how he did it.
• Um, his relationship with Leah is ... not quite what he expected.
• So he wrote Leah into existence. He has an idea of how it goes but really how? Shut up, Ikol. And he doesn't necessarily completely trust him. Why are there two "him"s? What is this artifact? What in the world is going on with this war that Hela refused to help with? Focus!

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019 Sandman reference dream saving montage.

Journey into Mystery no. 635 pages 5 - 12
Memories come in the form of a plain cloth mask in your team color (white for Sterling, black for Onyx). Put it on to get the memory.
Taken with Leah



Exposition!!

"Basically, you've got bad stuff in your head and the gentleman in green wants to tear it out and make it into an incredibly powerful hat."

Loki is the explanation master. This memory is a mess. It's basically a bunch of linked events where Daimon Hellstrom, Leah and Loki run around and try to save people from Nightmare (hi Morpheus) and his need for stuff to make some kind of all-powerful fear crown. He things he's a Big Deal. All of the nightmares are residue from the Serpent, so it's definitely time for some cleanup! Yay cleanup. Well, actually, not-so-yay. Most of Loki's time is spent pulling people out of their nightmares before Nightmare can harvest the fear-stuff from their heads and make his hat. There's a montage of Ikol whispering to him and reminding him that he's not Thor that he's Loki and running around trying to keep himself afloat while he saves people is not his strong point. There's some blatant manipulation going on here. Ikol needs that crown. :)
• Thanks for the explanation, Memory-Self.
• Daimon Hellstrom (aka Son of Satan), the dude chasing him in his first memory, has no shirt. Also he's an exorcist. Also he has a flaming trident that shoots fireballs.
• This just in: bacon is pretty great, energy drinks are gross.
• Loki is actually fairly good at inspiring people who don't know him!
• There is a lot of fear-stuff in his own head. So much that he's really even struggling to keep himself afloat at all. There's a good portion of this where he ends up just focusing on trying to get the task done and ignoring himself because it's easier to deal with it that way.
• When he looks back on this memory after 022, he'll see Ikol's manipulation. He's not going to be too happy.
• Again, this is kind of out-of-order. It's linked to the Serpent, but before their vacay in the Otherworld. Even though there's some maybe-dying, it doesn't happen. However, the effects are seen in his memories in Everything Burns. He can see the connection that he couldn't at the time. It's kind of scary.
• Yeah, this gave him a headache.

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020 "Symbolism is important."

Journey into Mystery no. 633 pages 18 - 21
Memories come in the form of candy pencils in your team color. They’re the size of real pencils, and break cleanly into three equal sections for three uses total.
Taken with Leah



Wake up, Little Loki. Waking up from a nightmare sucks. Right, there's a bird in his face. It's Ikol, waking him up from a nightmare because there is fear-stuff there.

"You were under attack. Spiritual. Mystic. Psychic. One of them. Unacceptable"

Ikol asks him what he's dreaming of, and the answer kind of flashes in his mind. Killing Thor, of course. So they head out to ruins of the Serpent's Asgard, Loki gets a little dream-sorcery lesson. Daimon Hellstrom shows up and makes some sense (crap it's Loki, Loki is trouble!!) before running after Loki shooting fireballs out of his trident.
• He can look forward to another nightmare memory! Great. This isn't after the nightmare memory that he's had, it's linked to a former one (as that one obviously comes a little after).
• There's a little bit to learn about the way that sorcery and dreams work. Metaphors and symbolism, all of which important when trying to decipher meaning (and occasionally methods of attack). "Where is the Serpent and his fear still powerful?" In the mind, of course. In Loki's mind.
• Oh, crap. He released Surtur.
• OH. SO THAT'S WHAT HE WAS RUNNING FROM. Good thing they're friends later?
• His nightmares are linked to bits of fear that the Serpent used. Go fig.

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021 "You're scared of my stick."

The Mighty Thor no. 010 pages 11 - 14
A feather in your team colour. How odd . . . When you touch it and think about taking your memory, it hovers in the air for a while, then floats gently back down again. Unlimited uses, but the memories fade over time . . .
Taken with Leah



BFF the Silver Surfer. The saga of Loki's stolen stick continues. Hanging around with the Silver Surfer is great, because the stick is now a hammer! The stick is a hammer in one place and a stick in the other? Or it's in two places at once. He remembers Thor, and remembers that this is after his death. The Silver Surfer pretty much insists that he can move the hammer-stick, so Loki tries to help him. The hammer sort of refuses to move. Surfer starts to get kind of huffy about it and starts yelling about cosmic winds and also Thor. Loki yells for Thor who's ... yeah I'm not gonna get into it, but he's somewhere with amnesia! Thor summons the hammer and Surfer takes off into space after it.
• A MEMORY THAT IS A MEMORY AFTER THE MEMORY THAT HE GOT OF IT? GASP.
• The Congress of Worlds is happening while Loki fucks off.
• The Silver Surfer is cool, he can fly into space on his surf board. That's because he's "imbued with the power cosmic." Whatever.
• Only Thor can move stick-hammer.

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022 "Thor, if I go bad..."

Journey into Mystery no. 645 pages 13 - 14
Memories come as small bone disks, surprisingly soft and worn. (They might smell funky.) Scratch one side with your fingernail to view. Two uses.



Short and sweet. Loki calls Thor to the Ruingarden as a last attempt to both see him before he's inevitably erased from existence, and to tell him to destroy him if he ever reverted to what he once was. Since he was placed with a spell of not actually being able to tell anyone what's really going on, he's unable to tell Thor the situation. Instead, he uses the way that he knows best. His outcry is more in his international desperation and frustration, and Thor, ever being Thor, knows that something's very wrong but can't place it. So he refuses, of course, telling Loki that he'll never be that away again because he won't. This memory is short, but powerful.
• Thor is a very safe place to be.
• He's afraid he's going to die, and feels helpless because he can't do anything about it.
• There are small defeats that can be considered victories. Thor refuses to kill him, or ever kill him, because he refuses to believe he'll be what he was. While it's contrary to Loki's wishes at the moment, he's both terrified and relieved. It's touching.
• This is also his moment of triumph. Thor trusts him completely! He earned back everything that he wanted. He is the Loki who earned back everything, his counterpart, the one taking his life, could not. He couldn't be more than what he was.
• There's a sort of funny stomach pain that comes from the situation, too. A lot of guilt, a lot of uplift, feelings of failure, and a lot of "I'm so sorry I have to leave you alone with who I used to be."
• Not being able to say anything, and trying to talk around it is difficult and frustrating, especially when he wants to just vomit about how he's messed up, and how Other-Loki really wants him as a sacrifice. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
• Every memory after that where Ikol appears there will be suspicion of his actions. :)

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023 "Your Older-Self had more skill with women."

Journey into Mystery no. 625 pages 5 - 6
Memories come in the form of a ballpoint pen. Uncap it to view the memory. Works twice. Afterwards, it is a very functional pen.



Frowny face. Check it out! It's Hel! Loki wiggles his way into the fortress to get his plan to kill Thor (for all the best reasons, mind you) into motion. Business is as business does. So he runs into the hall, knowing full well that Hela is gone to meet Mephisto with "dire news" there's a lot of "dire news." Leah is unwilling to bother Leah with Loki's dumb shenanigans. They have a brief converse where Loki tries to hit on her and she knees him in the crotch. She uses Ikol to find out that Mephisto has the Dísir. Whoops, well, despite the crotch kicking, the plan went rather nicely. Ikol squawks some insults at Loki and we call it a day.
• Leah already gloated about this memory and it hurts so bad!!
• This is Loki's first meeting with Leah, handmaiden of Hela. It's mentioned that "Leah" is an anagram for "Hela."
• A note for later that won't be realized now, but Leah sees Ikol just fine.
• Needless to say, it doesn't go very well. INSTEAD HE GETS A KNEE TO THE CROTCH. All's well that ends well, eh?
• After this memory is taken there is SO MUCH SUSPICION ON IKOL you really have no idea.
• Mephisto has the Dísir, well that's no good at all. GRAND WAR-TIME FUN.

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024 Breaking Thor out of Asgard-Jail.

Fear Itself no. 003
Memory form is a packet of jello mix! You'll have to make it at your cabin and wait for it to set . . . or, just lick the sugar. Do what you want. I'm a cat, not a cop.



"The old man has gone mad and the earth is burning." Everyone goes back to Asgard-Asgard, and Thor gets thrown in prison after a confrontation with Odin, mostly because Odin is literally fucking nuts. The Serpent's presence threatens to be fueled by the fear masters on Earth, and Odin thinks it would be just great to burn all of Midgard so Thor won't die. Then Odin turns Asgard into a literal war machine and turns all sights on Asgard. All means of leaving the realm are locked and Odin descends further into madness. With Volstagg's help, Loki breaks Thor out of jail and they meet with the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, only brief revolutionary talk happens before Odin shows up and fucking ruins the party. He sends Thor to Earth to be burned with the rest of Midgard.
• Odin is the king of the nutcases.
• Odin mentions trying to escape prophecy, but all of that is more like "wishful thinking."
• Did I mention that Odin's nuts?"

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025 "Er ... Leah, this is a very bad apology."

Journey into Mystery no. 636 pages 18 - 20
Memories come in the form of chocolate lips wrapped in red foil. Remove the foil to view the memory—no need to poison any of our animal heroes, right?



This will be an explanation.
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